


It Kinda Slipped, You Know?

by dildosalad (galacticCannibal22)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A Growing Amount of 80s Music and Movie References, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Aradia is a Good Friend, Drug Addiction, Drunk Texting, F/F, Humanstuck, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Depression, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, References to Depression, Unrequited Love, erisol and solkat are the main ships sorry boys, just mentioned, not graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:36:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 10,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7549927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticCannibal22/pseuds/dildosalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CG: HEY<br/>CG: IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST HEARD FROM YOU<br/>CG: I KNOW YOU'RE PRETTY BUSY AND STUFF<br/>CG: BUT I HOPE YOU CAN SPARE A LITTLE TIME FOR ME SINCE I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND</p><p>{Told Through A Collection of Pesterlogs}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION
> 
> THERE ARE MULTIPLE SHIPS  
> DAVEKAT IS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS BUT IS LISTED FIRST BECAUSE IT IS CANON IN THIS FANFIC
> 
> THANK YOU

13 SEPTEMBER 2016; 18:45 PM EASTERN TIME

 

twinArmageddons  [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: dude lii2ten  
TA: ii know you 2aiid you were bu2y and all but thii2 ii2 iimportant  
CG: HOW DID I KNOW THAT SOMEONE WAS GOING TO BOTHER ME EVEN THOUGH I ASKED SO NICELY FOR EVERYONE TO KINDLY FUCK OFF?  
CG: IT'S LIKE YOU FUCKERS CAN'T GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT HEY, KARKAT VANTAS MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING LIFE. MAYBE HE WANTS TO SLEEP OR READ A BOOK. OR MAYBE HE'S AT WORK.  
CG: BUT NO  
CG: NORMAL HUMAN NECESSITATES SUDDENLY CEASE TO EXIST THE MOMENT MY NAME POPS UP IN YOUR BIFURCATED MIND.  
CG: SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU MUST IGNORE MY EXPLICIT REQUESTS OF FUCKING SOLITUDE?  
TA: ii'm goiing two pretend ii read all of that  
TA: al2o chiill wiith the typiing ii can 2ee tho2e three dot2 haviing a fuckiing paniic attack becau2e you're pre22iing your thumb 2o hard agaiin2t your 2creen  
TA: anyway  
TA: now that ii can get two word2 iin, ii wa2 goiing two a2k iif you wanted two go 2ee a moviie wiith me  
CG: JESUS YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW THAT?  
CG: LITERALLY, HOW IMPORTANT IS SEEING A MOVIE? I'M PRETTY SURE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DIED IF YOU WAITED UNTIL I WASN'T  _*_ BUSY* TO ASK ME THAT.  
CG: BUT FINE, WHATEVER.  
CG: WHAT MOVIE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE IF IT IS SOME SHITTY SCI-FI PIECE OF METAPHORICAL GARBAGE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DECLINE YOUR OFFER.  
TA: actually  
TA: ii wa2 goiing two let you piick  
CG: THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING  
CG: WHAT TIME, SHITMUNCH?  
TA: 2hiit uh  
TA: thii2 ii2 goiing a lot better than ii expected  
TA: 2even?  
TA: tomorrow?  
CG: YEAH THAT'S FINE.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT IS GOING BETTER THAN YOU EXPECTED? DID YOU EXPECT ME TO RIP YOUR THROAT OUT OR SOMETHING?  
TA: well, yeah kiinda  
TA: iim 2ort of dii2appoiinted now  
CG: OH FUCK OFF.  
CG: I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.  
TA: eheh yeah  
TA: 2ee you

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]


	2. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> formatting pesterlogs is a pain in the ass but i like how they look?? so?? i've felt like writing heartbreak and rejection lately (because of totally non-personal reasons) 
> 
> hit me up on the tums', i post memes and aesthetic bullshit while simultaneously try to promote my shitty writing @dildosalad
> 
>  
> 
> also-- i dont like davekat??? why am i writing this???//

14 SEPTEMBER 2016; 22:15 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

carcinoGeneticist  [ CG ] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: SHIT.  
CG: DUDE I FUCKED UP HARDCORE.   
CG: NOT JUST REGULAR FUCKING UP LIKE CONTINUING ON TO EXIST WITH MY SAD BUT VERY EVENTFUL PATHETIC LIFE, BUT LIKE ULTIMATE OF FUCKING UP.  
CG: I'M TALKING SO BAD THAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO SIT MY PAST SELF DOWN AND REEVALUATE EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE EVER CONSIDERED TO DO, OR HAVE DONE.  
CG: ARE YOU EVEN ON? IT SAYS YOU'RE ON.  
CG: YOU BETTER NOT BE IGNORING ME, I COULD JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR APARTMENT AND MAKE YOU LISTEN TO MY HORRIBLE MISTAKES.  
CG: I HAVE YOUR KEY.  
TG: fuck man i was trying to make some quality grilled cheese  
TG: but your constant pinging distracted me and i think all the cheese is seeping out the sides and burning  
TG: what did you do  
CG: YOU KNOW SOLLUX RIGHT  
TG: of course i do dumbass  
TG: he was my math buddy before he switched out for the advanced class and left me all for my lonesome  
TG: i miss him  
TG: it was like i just saw him yesterday  
CG: YOU PROBABLY DID. WELL, IF HE ACTUALLY LEFT HIS APARTMENT FOR ONCE.   
CG: ANYWAY  
CG: HE FUCKING KISSED ME. NOT LIKE A GOODBYE KISS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK CREEPS GET AWAY SAYING IT IS, NO I'M TALKING LIKE FULL ON THE MOUTH.  
CG: LIKE ON THE MOUTH ROMANTICALLY.   
CG: A ROMANTIC KISS.  
CG: OR AN ATTEMPT AT ONE.  
CG: I KINDA...PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE AFTERWORDS.  
TG: wait what  
TG: he kissed you  
TG: doesnt he know that we're guy pals  
CG: STOP CALLING IT THAT, BUT APPARENTLY NOT.  
CG: HE ACTED COMPLETELY SURPRISED AND NOW I FEEL BAD.  
TG: well was it just random or was it on a date  
CG: IT WAS RIGHT AFTER WE SAW A MOVIE AT THE THEATER AND HE WAS DROPPING ME OFF AT THE DORMS.  
CG: WAIT  
TG: oh man  
CG: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A DATE  
TG: a movie with only two people alone is sorta a date  
CG: NOT ALWAYS, PEOPLE CAN BE JUST FRIENDS DAVE.  
TG: what movie was it  
CG: ...  
CG: THE CHOICE  
TG: oh my fucking god  
CG: SHIT  
CG: NOW I REALLY FEEL BAD.  
CG: HE KISSED ME AND I BROKE HIS FACE.  
CG: I THINK HE DROVE AWAY CRYING.  
CG: I'M A HORRIBLE FRIEND.  
TG: dude have you apologized to him or did this literally just happen  
CG: ...IT KIND OF JUST HAPPENED  
TG: jeez  
TG: well why dont you tell him it was a big misunderstanding and you feel bad for breaking his nose so you two can go back to being best bros or whatever weird relationship you two have  
CG: FINE  
CG: BUT I'M STILL COMING OVER. I NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HERE DAVE.   
TG: im supporting you  
TG: im very supportive   
TG: look at how supportive i am  
CG: WOW, THANKS.  
CG: SEE YOU LATER.  
TG: later man

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

 

 

carcinoGeneticist  CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: OH UH, I ALMOST FORGOT  
CG: <3  
TG: <3

 


	3. It Must Be Really Bad

14 SEPTEMBER 2016; 23:35 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

twinArmageddons [TA] blocked  carcinoGeneticist  [CG]

CG: SHIT  (Not Delivered)


	4. Talk It Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot write aradia for *shit* so let me apologize for that!!
> 
> anyway, i hope you guys are liking this!!

18 SEPTEMBER 2016; 14:04 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling twinArmagddons [TA]

AA: s0llux  
AA: y0u cant stay in y0ur r00m f0rever  
AA: i think it w0uld be best if y0u w0uld at least talk t0 s0me0ne  
AA: this isnt healthy and y0u kn0w it  
AA: s0llux  
AA: d0nt ign0re me  
AA: i kn0w y0u are 0n it says y0u are 0nline  
AA: y0u are always 0nline  
AA: 0n0  
TA: that face ii2 fuckiing 2tupiid  
AA: 0u0  
AA: there y0u are  
AA: y0u know i 0nly d0 it for y0u dummy  
TA: yeah well  
TA: that doe2nt make iit any le22 2tupiid  
AA: agreed  
AA: n0w that y0u are finally resp0nding i think it is time f0r s0me quality b0nding  
TA: diid you 2eriiou2ly have two rhyme that  
AA: i didnt mean t0 but n0w that i see it i really like it!  
AA: i might use that when i am trying t0 get y0u t0 jam with me!  
TA: plea2e dont  
AA: t00 late buzzkill   
AA: it is permanently g0ing int0 the mem0ry b0x labeled 'things s0llux d0esnt like me t0 say but i will say anyway because they are g0ld'  
TA: ugh  
AA: m0ving 0n!  
AA: have y0u eaten anything t0day??  
TA: you 2ound liike kk  
AA: have you?  
TA: ii had a hot pocket earliier for breakfa2t  
AA: that isnt a healthy breakfast s0llux and y0u kn0w it  
AA: what happened t0 all the cereal and fruit i b0ught f0r y0u  
AA: and it is three 0 cl0ck g0 eat s0mething else!!  
TA: the food went bad and cereal ii2nt really healthy anyway  
TA: mo2t of iit ii2 2ugar  
AA: well at least it is s0mething  
AA: g0 eat!!   
TA: fiine  
AA: that means right n0w s0llux  
TA: ...  
TA: ugh

twinArmageddons [TA] is now AFK!  
  
AA: 0u0  
  
twinArmageddons [TA] is now back online!  
  
TA: ii made a 2andwiich   
AA: are y0u actually g0ing t0 eat it 0r is it g0ing t0 sit at y0ur desk and m0ld  
TA: iim eatiing iit riight now  
AA: g00d  
AA: n0w 0nt0 business  
AA: h0w are y0u h0lding up??  
TA: iim fiine  
AA: are y0u??  
TA: ...  
AA: s0llux   
AA: it is 0kay t0 be upset y0u kn0w  
AA: tell me what y0u are feeling and i will try t0 help  
TA: ii feel really fuckiing 2tupiid  
AA: g0 0n  
TA: ii mean  
TA: he had a fuckiing boyfriiend already how diid ii not know that  
TA: why diidnt he tell me that iim hii2 be2t friiend   
TA: or ii wa2  
TA: ii have no iidea what we are now  
AA: have y0u talked t0 him?  
TA: ii blocked hiim  
AA: s0llux  
TA: ii know ii know  
TA: ii ju2t dont want two talk two hiim  
TA: ii feel 2o fuckiing 2tupiid why diid ii do that  
TA: he probably hate2 me now   
AA: im sure he d0esnt hate you  
AA: y0u really need t0 talk t0 him s0llux  
AA: maybe it w0uld give y0u s0me cl0sure?  
TA: maybe  
TA: you're riight though, you're alway2 fuckiing riight  
AA: 0u0  
TA: you ju2t ruiined the moment we had here  
AA: s0rry  
AA: make sure y0u talk t0 him s00n th0ugh  
AA: and t0 0ther pe0ple!!  
AA: d0nt shut y0urself in and waste away  
AA: pr0mise me y0u w0nt d0 that  
TA: iim not goiing two do that  
AA: s0llux  
TA: ii promii2e  
AA: g00d  
AA: i have t0 g0 n0w i am at w0rk  
AA: i am n0t supp0sed t0 have my ph0ne 0ut but i c0uldnt st0p thinking ab0ut y0u  
TA: how 2weet  
AA: i will c0me see y0u afterwards  
AA: please sh0wer and brush y0ur teeth and get dressed  
AA: take care 0f y0urself  
TA: ii wiill  
AA: s0llux  
TA: ii promii2e  
AA: g00d  
AA: bye n0w!! <3  
TA: be 2afe

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling  twinArmageddons [TA]


	5. It Hurts A Lot Actually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha *cough* ahhhhahah *cough*
> 
> guys please tell me if you are liking this  
> i want to continue it on and stuff!!! and some input would be rad!!!

19 SEPTEMBER 2016; 00:02 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

twinArmageddons  [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

apocalypseArisen [AA] is offline!

TA: ii know iit2 really late but ii needed two talk two you  
TA: you mo2t liikely wont 2ee thii2 untiil the morniing but ii really needed two type thii2 out ii gue22  
TA: iim 2orry ii diidnt talk much when you came over twoday  
TA: ii 2tiill had a really fun tiime watchiing moviie2 wiith you and the food you made wa2 pretty bomb  
TA: ii ju2t  
TA: ii 2uck at talkiing in general but maiinly iin per2on  
TA: aa why do you put up wiith me  
TA: youre 2o perfect and niice and pretty and amaziing   
TA: everythiing that iim not  
TA: whoa  
TA: thii2 ii2 gettiing a liittle dark ii2nt iit?  
TA: 2orry about that   
TA: uh

apocalypseArisen [AA] is offline!  


TA: 2hiit  
TA: ii love hiim  
TA: iim iin love wiith him aa  
TA: ii have loved hiim 2iince fre2hman year of hiigh 2chool and ii 2hould be over iit by now  
TA: iit ha2 been 2iix year2 for FUCK2 2AKE  
TA: why do ii 2tiill liike hiim?  
TA: he ha2 a fuckiing boyfriiend and here ii am fanta2iiziing about kii22iing hiim and holdiing hii2 hand  
TA: there2 not even a 2liighte2t chance for me here  
TA: he broke my no2e when ii kii22ed hiim ii mean fuck  
TA: ii 2hould have a2ked fiir2t that would have 2aved the triip two the er  
TA: and a whole lot of heartbreak   
TA: well iit would 2tiill obviiou2ly hurt   
TA: but maybe not 2o much phy2iically? 

apocalypseArisen [AA] is offline!

TA: yeah yeah ii know  
TA: iim 2orry for 2pammiing you liike thii2, youre ju2t the only per2on ii would want two know the2e thiing2  
TA: ii know ii 2uck at 2ociial iinteractiion but we 2hould go out two eat   
TA: that wiill be my apology for beiing 2uch a 2tiick iin the mud  
TA: iindiian food  
TA: your favoriite riight  
TA: hey and ii wont even complaiin the whole tiime we are there  
TA: talk two me about your new giirlfriiend   
TA: you 2aiid ii knew her?  
TA: ii keep forgettiing you are a2leep liike a normal per2on   
TA: ii 2hould get 2ome 2leep two   
TA: 2leep tiight aa  
TA: dont let the 2pooky gho2t2 biite   


twinArmageddons  [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]


	6. Hang On A Minute, What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im bored so updating this is what i feel like doing
> 
> please tell me if you like it!!!! i appreciate validation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this is okay? i have never really written feferi or have attempted to roleplay her before so this is a first attempt.

21 SEPTEMBER 2016; 07:22 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CC: )(-ELLO  
CC: I've )(eard you've not been eeling muc)( of yours)(elf lately so I wanted to dock in and make sure you were alrig)(t!  
CC: You are okay, rig)(t?  
TA: holy 2hiit ff  
TA: iit2 been a whiile  
CC: O)(!!  
CC: You're rig)(t it )(as been a w)(ile!  
CC: I guess I )(ave just tidally busy t)(ese past few weeks.  
CC: I'm sorry for randomly starting carping wit)( you again after suc)( a long time, I s)(ould )(ave started t)(is conversation off muc)( betta!  
TA: dont worry about it  
TA: iim ju2t glad two be heariing from you agaiin  
CC: )(e)(e!!  
CC: I'm glad you missed me! Cause I s)(ore missed you!!  
CC: )(ey! You never answered my question, Solfis)(  
TA: iim okay  
CC: Are you reely? 380  
TA: yeah  
TA: you dont have two worry about me ff, ii already got aa houndiing me about my mental and phy2iical health  
TA: ii thiink ii am iin good hand2  
CC: You s)(ore are!!  
CC: W)(ale, if you are s)(ore t)(at nofin is wrong, I won't bot)(er you too muc)( about it!  
CC: I can't )(elp but continue to be conchcerned about it t)(oug)(.  
CC: Anyway!!!!  
CC: Water you up too at t)(e moment?  
TA: ii wa2 watchiing tv but then ii realiized biinge watchiing dr. phiil ii2nt really a good pa2t tiime  
TA: water you doiing  
CC: I am currently getting all my clot)(es packed to stay t)(e nig)(t wit)( a frond!!  
TA: how exciitiing  
TA: who ii2 iit  
CC: ARADIA 38D  
TA: ii 2houldve known  
TA: you two have been pretty tiight lately 2o iive heard  
CC: W)(ale  
CC: S)(e is my gillfriend so I would )(ope so!!  
CC: Solfish?  
CC: W)(ere did you go?  
CC: Wait, let me guess! You're gaping at your screen like a fis)( out of water in surprise.  
CC: I suppose it could be a titanic s)(ock to you, I )(aven't been around to fill you in on all t)(e JUIC-EY GOSSIP!

twinArmageddons [TA] is now idle!

 

CC: 380

 


	7. Parental Conference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

22 SEPTEMBER 2016; 07:15 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

CG: BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE HERE.  
CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS SOONER.  
CG: FOR STARTERS, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT SOLLUX IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED. I WANT TO ENTER THIS CONVERSATION WITH NO TENSION OR ANGER, I'M HERE FOR FUCKING HELP.  
AA: 0h i kn0w!!  
AA: it is quite alright karkat y0u d0nt have t0 w0rry ab0ut me lashing 0ut 0r anything  
AA: i already knew y0u were g0ing t0 message me  
CG: DID THE SPIRITS TELL YOU THAT?  
AA: 0f c0urse n0t silly!  
AA: i just kn0w y0u care ab0ut s0llux thats all  
CG: RIGHT.  
CG: I DO FUCKING CARE ABOUT HIM AND I THINK I HAVE REACHED THAT LIMIT TO WHERE I'M STARTING TO THINK I WASN'T CARING ENOUGH.  
AA: karkat  
CG: PLEASE DON'T DWELL ON THAT THOUGHT TOO MUCH, BUT I HAD TO SAY IT TO MAKE MY POINT ACROSS ABOUT HOW DEEPLY I FUCKING REGRET EVERYTHING.  
CG: HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS THAT I'M WORRIED AND HURT.  
CG: WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS WITHOUT EVEN THINKING IT THROUGH  
CG: FUCK  
AA: i think that this is g00d  
AA: n0t 0nly is it bringing 0ur relati0nship cl0ser but it is helping me figure 0ut h0w t0 help y0u!!  
CG: RIGHT  
CG: OKAY  
CG: HAS HE CONTACTED YOU AT ALL?  
AA: yes he has  
AA: i have sp0ken with him 0n multiple 0ccasi0ns since everything happened but it has been at least twenty f0ur h0urs since we currently last sp0ke  
CG: THAT'S GOOD  
CG: AT LEAST I KNOW NOW THAT HE DIDN'T FALL COMPLETELY OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET.  
CG: IS HE OKAY?  
AA: physically yes  
AA: em0ti0nally i d0 n0t think s0  
AA: he seems very t0rn and m0re m0pey than ever bef0re  
AA: it is starting t0 take a t0ll 0n his w0rk which is alt0gether c0ncerning due t0 the fact that he never lets his em0ti0ns get in the way 0f his c0ding  
AA: diagn0sis  
AA: heartbreak  
CG: FUCK IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?  
CG: I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE THIS WOULD ALL BLOW OVER AND WE COULD JOKE ABOUT IT LATER ON  
CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE THE CASE HERE.  
AA: he has been crushing 0n y0u since ninth grade 0r at least that is what he had t0ld me  
CG: *FUCK*  
CG: WHY IS THIS JUST NOW BEING BROUGHT TO THE SURFACE???????  
AA: well my guess is that he has s0me pretty deep r00ted issues with c0ming t0 terms with being in l0ve with y0u  
CG: IN LOVE WITH ME  
AA: n0t that he has any issues with the fact that y0u identify as male   
AA: i think it has t0 deal with gr0wing up playing the best friend r0le  
AA: he saw his place as comforting y0u as a friend rather than a l0ver  
CG: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE  
AA: it may have ruined y0ur friendship if he ever sp0ke up ab0ut his true feelings and he was scared 0f l0sing y0u  
AA: 0n several 0ccasi0ns he has referred t0 y0u as a lifeline  
AA: l0sing y0u w0uld be devastating  
CG: THEN WHY WON'T HE FUCKING TALK TO ME IF LOSING ME IS THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DEAL?  
CG: I HAVE TRIED TO REACH HIM EVERY WAY POSSIBLE  
CG: HE HAS BLOCKED ME ON HERE AND PRACTICALLY ON EVERY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA CONSTRUCT HE HAPPENS TO OWN  
CG: HE REFUSES TO ANSWER MY CALLS AND ONCE I TRIED TO SEE HIM IN PERSON BUT NO ONE ANSWERED THE DOOR EITHER  
CG: HOW CAN I FIX THIS IF HE IS UNWILLING TO PULL HIS WEIGHT?  
AA: karkat i d0nt think y0u are understanding h0w fragile his em0ti0ns are  
AA: 0ne wr0ng m0ve sends him spiraling int0 a deep depressi0n  
CG: I KNOW   
CG: I'M TRYING TO FIX MY WRONG MOVE BUT HE ISN'T LETTING ME!!!!!!  
AA: i think the 0nly way t0 res0lve this is t0 let him c0me t0 y0u  
CG: WHAT IF HE NEVER COMES TO ME?  
AA: then this situati0n cann0t be fixed  
CG: THAT IS TERRIFYING TO THINK ABOUT.  
AA: i kn0w  
CG: I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HE IS READY TO FACE ME.  
CG: I'LL TRY TO BE AS UNASSHOLELY AS I POSSIBLE CAN, WHICH I KNOW SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE.  
AA: i am glad y0u care s0 deeply ab0ut s0llux  
AA: it is very refreshing  
CG: MAYBE FOR YOU  
CG: BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT AND SHOVE IT DOWN THE CLOSEST PERSON'S THROAT  
AA: 0_0  
CG: FUCK THAT FACE IS CREEPY  
CG: UH  
CG: HERE (:B   
AA: h0w cute  
CG: WELL, THANKS FOR ACTUALLY RESPONDING TO ME.  
CG: I THINK I AM GOING TO GO WATCH A BUNCH OF DR. PHIL TO PREPARE ME FOR THE EMOTIONAL STRESS THAT I AM GOING TO BE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH.  
AA: alright  
AA: stay safe karkat!!!  
CG: HAHA, YEAH.   
CG: I WILL.

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]


	8. Hey, Long Time No Chat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i died

25 SEPTEMBER 2016; 22:22 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

TA: ii mii22 you

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] is now online! 

CG: I MISS YOU TOO


	9. Excerpt of Pt. 2358 from the forever on going novel: Apologies After Stupid Predicaments

26 SEPTEMBER 2016; 00:00 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

 

CG: WAIT, ARE YOU DRUNK TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW?  
TA: maybe  
TA: but that2 not the poiint of thii2 convo KK  
CG: JESUS EVER LOVING TITTY FUCK, HOW COME YOU CAN ONLY TALK TO ME LIKE THIS WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK?  
CG: I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOU CAN TALK TO ME.  
CG: I'M HERE FOR YOU, DAMMIT.  
TA: KK  
TA: iit2 ju2t easiir for me ok  
TA: when iim drunk word2 come out better than sober   
TA: otherwii2e iill prob2 never talk about iit at all  
CG: YOU TALK TO ARADIA SOBER  
TA: that2 different  
CG: UGH WHATEVER  
CG: I GET IT, I'M NOT ARADIA.  
CG: CAN WE JUST   
CG: TALK  
CG: PLEASE  
TA: iim 2orry ii iignored you  
TA: ii wa2 beiing petty and u diidnt de2erve that  
TA: ii wa2 ju2t up2et that u diidnt liike me back 2o ii took iit out on everythiin  
TA: that wa2 rly lame of me  
CG: I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU IGNORED ME, AND I FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT.  
CG: I JUST WISH..THINGS WENT A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN THEY HAD.  
CG: I'M SORRY I BROKE YOUR NOSE AND THAT I TREATED YOU LIKE I DID.  
CG: I'M ALSO SORRY FOR NEVER REALIZING HOW YOU FELT TOWARDS ME, I JUST NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD EVER LIKE ME IN THAT WAY THAT I PUSHED THE THOUGHT INTO THE BACK OF MY MIND. I SHOULD'VE TAKEN A STEP BACK AND EVALUATED EVERYTHING INSTEAD OF BRUSHING IT OFF.  
CG: I PUT YOU THROUGH SIX YEARS OF TORTURE AND I'M SORRY FOR BEING THAT DENSE.  
TA: iit2 ok KK  
CG: IS IT THOUGH?  
CG: LIKE, ARE WE GOING TO BE ABLE TO PUSH PAST THIS?  
TA: ii dont 2ee why we couldnt  
TA: weve gotten thru wor2e  
CG: BUT YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS ME  
CG: ARE THEY STILL THERE?  
TA: yeah  
CG: DO YOU REALIZE WE CAN'T BE HOW YOU WANT?  
TA: yeah  
CG: IS THAT GOING TO FOREVER AFFECT YOU?  
TA: maybe   
TA: ii dunno  
TA: iill get over iit   
TA: plea2e dont 2top beiing my friiend tho  
TA: ii dont thiink ii would be able 2 functiion wiithout you here  
TA: the2e pa2t 2 week2 have been awful ii really mii22ed you  
TA: iit2 liike..there2 a hole iin my che2t when youre not around  
TA: ii know that2 rly chee2y but iit2 the clo2e2t thiing ii can descriibe the feeliing 2  
TA: liife 2uck2 wiithout you iin iit dude  
CG: I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.  
TA: thank you  
CG: JUST  
CG: I'VE REALLY MISSED YOU TOO MAN  
CG: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT FEELING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I GET IT TOO  
CG: I MISS YOUR UGLY YELLOW TEXT FLOODING MY SCREEN AND THE SARCASM   
CG: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME  
CG: I THINK AFTER AS MANY OF CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS WE'VE HAD AND ALL THOSE LATE AFTER PARTIES WE HAVE EXPRESSED THAT  
CG: I LOVE YOU DUDE  
CG: I REALLY DO  
CG: AND I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME AND I'M SORRY I CAN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR  
CG: I CAN'T EXPRESS THAT ENOUGH  
TA: ii 2uddenly wii2h ii wa2nt 2ma2hed or ii would twotally driive my 2appy a22 over there  
TA: ii thiink thii2 convo call2 for 2ome hardcore bro cuddle2  
TA: iit2 hard 2 expre22 the way ii feel when you do iit 2o perfectly  
TA: fuck what even are word2  
CG: YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER?  
TA: yeah  
CG: ALRIGHT  
CG: SHOULD I STOP BY THE DRUG STORE AND BUY TISSUES?  
TA: yeah   
TA: iive been u2iing my 2leeve for the pa2t hour and a half  
CG: YOU'RE DISGUSTING  
TA: you 2tiill love me though  
CG: FUCK, YOU GOT ME THERE  
CG: I'LL BUY HERSEY'S KISSES TOO, WE'LL DRINK WINE AND EAT CHOCOLATE AND CRY LIKE A BUNCH OF SAD HOUSEWIVES   
TA: 2ound2 liike a fuckiing plan  
CG: SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT  
TA: yeah  
TA: 2ee you


	10. Things Were Going Good So Life Had to Punish Me

30 SEPTEMBER 2016; 21:00 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

twinArmageddons  [TA] is offline!

 

CG: WHY OF ALL TIMES ARE YOU OFFLINE RIGHT NOW?  
CG: YOU'RE ALWAYS ON GOD DAMMIT   
CG: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE DOING IN THIS VERY MOMENT THAT IS FORCING YOU AWAY FROM YOUR BELOVED COMPUTER   
CG: OR PHONE EVEN

carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

twinArmageddons  [TA] is offline!

 

CG: PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE CAPTOR  
CG: I'M SERIOUS  
CG: THIS IS SERIOUS  
CG: PLEASE  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: SOLLUX I REALLY NEED YOU TO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW  
CG: *PLEASE*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

twinArmageddons  [TA] is offline!

 

CG: WHAT THE FUCK  
CG: WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME  
CG: I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT LIFE HAS A PERSONAL REASON TO HATE MY GUTS  
CG: OR MAYBE THIS IS KARMA FOR BEING A SACK OF SHIT  
CG: ...  
CG: SOLLUX PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE I NEED YOU 

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!  
  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] requested a call with twinArmageddons [TA]!

  
twinArmageddons  [TA] is offline!

 

CG: FUCK

 

 


	11. A Get Well Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i have a headcanon that aradia works a lil shop in a small local bookstore where she sells Witchy Things™ and speaks to spirits for people
> 
> sometimes sollux comes in to predict peoples deaths

1 OCTOBER 2016; 17:03 PM EASTERN TIME

 

apocalypseArisen [AA]  began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] 

AA: karkat  
AA: i heard the news are y0u alright?  
CG: I'M FINE  
CG: JUST AS UPSET AS YOU WOULD EXPECT REALLY  
CG: WHO TOLD YOU?  
AA: s0llux did  
CG: AH   
CG: SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT  
CG: HE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING  
AA: karkat i understand y0u are hurting but i am kindly requesting that y0u keep y0ur bitterness ab0ut me and s0lluxs relati0nship 0ut 0f this  
AA: that is n0t the key fact0r t0 what y0u are upset ab0ut  
CG: YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M SORRY.  
CG: I'M BEING AN ASSHOLE AGAIN RIGHT OFF THE BAT AREN'T I?  
AA: n0 n0 d0nt ap0ologize   
AA: i just ask that we keep this conversati0n where it sh0uld be  
AA: who are y0u staying with?  
CG: SOLLUX  
AA: that w0uld make sense  
AA: kanaya assumed as much as well  
AA: she asked me t0 tell you t0 resp0nd t0 her messages  
AA: i think she w0uld appreciate y0u telling her this instead 0f a sec0nd party  
CG: YEAH  
CG: I'LL RESPOND TO HER SOON, I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO RELAX I GUESS  
AA: understandable  
AA: is s0llux being respectable??  
CG: HE IS BEING AS RESPECTABLE AS I'M FORCING HIM TO BE  
CG: IT'S LIKE HE FEELS LIKE IT IS HIS JOB TO, QUOTE UNQUOTE, "TAKE CARE OF THINGS"  
CG: I'VE DELETED FIFTEEN VIRUSES FROM HIS COMPUTER THAT HE WAS PLANNING ON SENDING TO DAVE  
CG: HE THREW A FIT LAST NIGHT BUT I CAN ADMIT IT WAS MY FAULT  
CG: I KINDA BROUGHT IT ON I'M NOT GONNA LIE  
AA: i heard ab0ut that  
CG: FROM WHO  
AA: s0llux  
CG: RIGHT  
AA: are y0u g0ing t0 be alright?  
CG: YEAH  
AA: karkat  
CG: THAT'S A PROMISE  
AA: i wish y0u the best 0f luck  
AA: the spirits are r00ting  f0r y0u!!  
CG: TELL THEM I SAID THANKS  
AA: i sure will  
AA: als0 please tell s0llux to st0p by my apartment soon  
AA: i have a cust0mer wh0se s0 set 0n kn0wing h0w they die that they wont leave me alone  
AA: i can 0nly d0 s0 much y0u kn0w  
CG: HAHA YEAH, I'LL TELL HIM  
AA: thank you karkat  
AA: feel better s00n  
CG: I WILL TRY  
  
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]


	12. Not What You Think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this is so late but
> 
>  
> 
> this sucks
> 
> ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM ADDING DATES TO THE LOGS TO IT WILL MAKE MORE SENSE

5 OCTOBER 2016; 03:38 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

CG: YOU CAN'T BE MAD AT ME FOREVER SOLLUX  
CG: YOU KNEW THAT WASN'T A PERMANENT SITUATION   
CG: DAVE AND I FIGHT SOMETIMES AND SOMETIMES WE NEED FUCKING SPACE  
CG: I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU, EXPLICITLY  
CG: THIS TIME IT SO HAPPENED TO BE A LOT WORSE BUT WE ARE WORKING ON IT  
CG: YOU CAN'T HOLD THIS AGAINST ME  
CG:...  
CG: SOLLUX I KNOW YOU READ MY MESSAGES I CAN SEE YOU'RE ON  
  
 twinArmageddons [TA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]!

CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST (Not Delievered)


	13. What The Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha WHAT A TIME JUMP
> 
> SO MANY QUESTIONS UNANSWERED  
> LMAO
> 
> davekat chapter next

18 FEBRUARY 2017; 22:07 PM EASTERN TIME

 

CG: HAHA YEAH THAT WAS FUCKING GREAT  
TA: youre riight about that  
TA: hey uh  
TA: ii need two tell you 2omethiing  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU DIDN'T LOSE MY TEXTBOOK  
TA: no no iit2 not about that   
TA: ii 2tiill have iit  
TA: you know eriidan riight  
TA: eriidan ampora from hiigh2chool  
CG: OH YEAH THE DUMBASS THAT PUNCHED KANAYA  
TA: yeah hiim  
CG: WE WERE CLOSE ONCE  
CG: BE WE KINDA DRIFTED IN COLLEGE  
CG: HE WASN'T ALL THAT BAD ONE ON ONE BUT IN A GROUP HE WAS THE WHINIEST PIECE OF SHIT  
CG: ALMOST AS BAD AS YOU  
TA: haha well  
TA: funny thiing ii2   
TA: he2 a2leep iin my bed riight now  
CG: EXCUSE ME  
TA: eriidan ampora  
TA: ii2 iin my bed riight now  
CG: WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS HE THERE  
CG: ...  
CG: OH GOD YOU DIDNT  
TA: ii diid  
CG: JESUS FUCKING TITTY FUCK   
CG: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTING ME RIGHT AFTER YOU HOOKED UP WITH SOMEONE  
CG: AND THAT SOMEONE IS STILL IN YOUR BED  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME YOURE NOT NAKED  
TA: iim naked  
CG: OH MY GOD  
CG: YOURE LYING   
TA: do you want proof  
CG: NO, OH GOD PLEASE NO  
TA: ehehehehe  
CG: PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW YOU ENDED UP IN THIS SITUATION  
CG: WITH AMPORA OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE  
CG: WHEN THE HELL DID HE EVEN GET IN TOWN, LAST I HEARD HE WAS IN NEW YORK BEING ALL PRIVILEGED AND RICH AS USUAL  
TA: well   
TA: ii 2aw hiim two week2 ago at the 2chool liibrary and ii 2tarted talkiing two hiim  
TA: he apologiized for pepper 2prayiing me iin the 9th grade  
TA: and ii twold him iit was cool and then parted way2 after exchangiing number2  
TA: then he texted me the next day a2kiing two hang out   
TA: we went two the park and iit wa2 lame 2o ii 2ucked hii2 diick  
CG: EXCUSE ME  
TA: then we keep talkiing and here we are  
CG: YOU SUCKED HIS DICK AT A PUBLIC PARK  
TA: not iin the open  
CG: SOLLUXANDER FUCKING CAPTOR   
TA: ii wa2 bored  
TA: he had a diick  
CG: I HATE THIS  
CG: I HATE YOU  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK  
TA: oh 2hiit he ii2 awake   
TA: ii gotta go  
CG: NO, YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW MISTER  
CG: I'M TELLING ARADIA YOU ARE SUCKING PEOPLES DICKS IN PUBLIC PARKS  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD

 

twinArmageddons [ TA] is now idle!  


CG: WHY


	14. Purple McGucci Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm so slow w updates  
> I have school my dudes
> 
>  
> 
> Ahh I'm sorry that this sucks??? Rip

 20 FEBRUARY 2017; 13:34 PM EASTERN TIME

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: babe  
TG: sweety pie  
TG: my lil cherry bomb  
TG: dont make me bring out the big guns  
TG: im gonna do it  
TG: im serious man i will do it  
TG: okay you asked for it  
TG: karkles  
CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST   
TG: works every time  
CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED DAVE, YOU KNOW I'M WORKING  
TG: so you know how sollux is screwing with that really rich douche  
CG: PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME  
CG: IS THIS SERIOUSLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT  
TG: wait dont go yet  
TG: i need to tell you something  
CG: UGH  
CG: MAKE IT QUICK, OKAY?  
TG: okay im making it quick  
TG: so  
TG: i was out walking around earlier right   
TG: listening to some tunes and people watching  
TG: the normal shebang  
CG: DAVE  
TG: okay okay calm your tits  
TG: anyway  
TG: i ran into them while i was out and im pretty sure that they arent just fucking  
TG: like fishy guy was all over our honeybee  
TG: he was rubbing his thigh dude  
TG: rubbing his thigh  
TG: and they way they kept looking at each other reminded me of those rom coms you know  
TG: but when i left i turned around and they were holding hands and im fucking yelling man  
TG: like  
TG: how fucking gay is that  
CG: DAVE   
CG: THIS IS A REMINDER THAT YOU ARE ALSO FUCKING GAY AS SHIT   
TG: accurate  
TG: but im freaking out   
TG: he better not hurt my bro ok  
TG: sol is really sensitive when he isnt being an asshole  
TG: so you should tell purple mcgucci fuck that he better make sure he doesnt fuck up ok  
CG: SINCE WHEN DID YOU CARE THIS MUCH ABOUT SOLLUX  
TG: since he started letting me copy his notes and gave me his doritos   
CG: JESUS CHRIST  
TG: but can you do that  
CG: YEAH I CAN  
TG: thanks boo  
CG: YOU'RE INSUFFERABLE   
TG: you love me though  
CG: ...  
CG: ACCURATE  
 


	15. Definition of Insufferable and Irresistible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am dead  
> the fandom is dying  
> have erisol

20 FEBRUARY 2017; 17:08 PM EASTERN TIME

 

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
  


CA: sol  
CA: theres an issue wwe need to discuss  
CA: sollux look at your phone   
CA: i literally saww you thirty minutes ago wwhat could you possibly be doin that requires your uttermost attention   
TA: jeez fuckiing chiill for a 2econd ok  
TA: ii wa2 buyiing food  
CA: thats surprisin i thought you wwere incapable of ingestin one of the basic necessities humans need in order to survvive  
TA: ha ha youre very funny  
TA: what2 the ii22ue 2weetcakes  
CA: dont evver call me that again i wwill end you  
TA: eheheh sure  
CA: anywway  
CA: kar just text me for the first time in years and all he said to me were threats about hurtin you or wwhatevver and im offended that after all this time of no contact he decides that that is the best wway to greet me  
CA: howw does he havve the audacity to speak to me that wway  
CA: wwe used to be vvery close back in high school and then one day he just shut me out   
CA: wwhat got all up in his business anywway  
TA: wow thii2 ii2 not what ii wa2 expectiing when you 2aiid you had an ii22ue   
TA: uh  
TA: what diid kk 2ay exactly  
CA: wwhyishebeinsomean.png  
TA: je2u2 chrii2t   
TA: he act2 liike he hate2 me and then goe2 behiind my back yelliing at people and tryiing two protect me  
TA: protect me as iin ruiin thiings  
CA: wwhat should i say   
TA: fuck iif ii know   
TA: iim not good wiith that kiind of 2hiit  
CA: ugh  
CA: thanks for bein so helpful   
TA: youre welcome  
TA: just dont reply ii gue22 ii wiill have a word wiith him  
CA: are you sure  
CA: its kinda rude not to reply to somethin like that  
TA: iif you wanna 2ay 2omethiing then go ahead but try not to be a diick ii know iit2 hard but you gotta try   
TA: do iit for me honeybun2  
CA: sol you call me one more stupid nickname i wwill drivve my fancy ass ovver there and personally strangle you  
TA: kiinky  
TA: diidnt know you were intwo that  
TA: love muffiin  
CA: its like you are askin for death  
CA: i havve to go   
CA: i wwill come back and murder you later okay  
TA: 2ound2 good   
CA: oh my cod  
CA: youre insufferable wwhy do i like you  
TA: ii thiink the word youre lookiing for ii2 iirre2ii2tiible   
  
  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]


	16. Tu Me Manques

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN SO LONG FORGIVE ME

1 MARCH 2017; 15:00 PM EASTERN TIME

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  


 

CG: HEY  
CG: IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST HEARD FROM YOU  
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE PRETTY BUSY AND STUFF, YOU KNOW, BEING IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND ALL  
CG: BUT I HOPE YOU CAN SPARE A LITTLE TIME FOR ME SINCE I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND  
CG: IT IS CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT YOU BEING SO FAR AWAY  
CG: YOU'VE ALWAYS EITHER LIVED RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME OR JUST DOWN THE BLOCK  
CG: YOU HAD NEVER LEFT THE STATE UNTIL NOW  
CG: THAT'S PRETTY SCARY  
CG: OR IT WOULD BE TO ME  
CG: YOU SEEM TO BE PRETTY CONFIDENT AND WILD NOW SINCE ERIDAN CAME BACK  
CG: I HOPE YOU ARE BEING SAFE  
CG: I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ON THE NEWS OR ANYTHING

 

twinArmageddons [TA] is offline!

 

CG: I KNOW YOU ARE  
CG: YOU HAVE BEEN FOR A WHILE  
CG: YOU'RE COMING BACK IN APRIL BUT THAT SEEMS SO FAR AWAY  
CG: I NEVER THINK I'M GOING TO SAY THESE THINGS BUT THEN HERE I AM SAYING THEM  
CG: I'M GOING TO BE EXPLICIT CAUSE I KNOW WHEN YOU READ THIS YOU WILL BE SMIRKING LIKE THE ASSHOLE YOU ARE AND BUG ME LATER ABOUT IT, SO FINE I WILL SAY IT  
CG: WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY   
CG: IS THAT I MISS YOU  
CG: A LOT  
CG: MORE THAN A LOT  
CG: HOW STUPID AM I RIGHT NOW?  
CG: I WISH YOU WERE ON TO TELL ME  
CG: BUT YOU'RE NOT...AGAIN 

 

twinArmageddons [TA] is offline!

 

CG: MAYBE I SHOULD PUT TIME ZONES INTO FACTOR  
CG: IT'S LATE FOR YOU  
CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY EXCUSE, YOU FUCKING NIGHT ANIMAL  
CG: ANYWAYS, THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY  
CG: I MISS YOU, SOLLUX. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING FUN IN PARIS  
CG: MESSAGE ME WHEN YOU ARE ABLE 

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  



	17. Have Faith in the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ive been gone  
> but ive been inspired to continue things  
> my feelings towards characters have changed as well as their relationships, look forward to that

2 JANUARY 2018; 20:24 PM EASTERN TIME

 

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TG: my dearest sol boy  
TG: the absolute light of my life  
TG: where have you been all this time god forbid you run from me  
TG: you have left me all for my lonesome my eyes are like leaky faucets drip drop  
TG: hello  
TG: please im fucking starving  
TG: sollux you are the sun to my moon for the love of all that is good where are you  
TG: haha this reminds me of this one movie i was watching a couple weeks ago where the guy is searching for like this fucking water tower like its the ungodly messiah itself and its kinda funny because it could also be a metaphor for how fucking thirsty he is towards the main chick  
TG: i dont blame him tho the girl had hella tits  
TA: iim more of an a22 man my2elf  
TG: he speaks  
TA: iim almo2t there 2o look pretty for me alriight darliing  
TG: im always pretty what do you mean  
TG: is our favorite pompous douche going to make an appearance   
TG: youve both been missing for so long i put up a shrine in the library bathroom with cut out pictures and everything  
TG: i even have candles that i whisper the lyrics to take my breath away to in the most filthy manner  
TG: that was until a big buff guy came in and saw my tight self knelt in front of a wall covered with the faces of my dearest friends sensually eating cheetos and shaking it to phil collins   
TG: i can feel it coming in the air tonight  
TG: oh lord  
TA: what the actual fuck  
TG: is eridan coming or not  
TA: unfortunately no  
TA: he ha2 2ome work 2hiit two do or whatever ii wa2nt really lii2teniing  
TG: what a shame  
TG: he will miss the strippers  
TA: what 2triipper2  
TA: daviid ii 2wear two god  
TG: yeah baby say my name just like that  
TA: youre fuckiing fiilthy   
TA: how do people put up wiith you  
TG: funny ive been asking that same question myself every night for the past 26 years  
TA: fuck you iim the one wiith the mopey attiitude   
TA: dont take my 2tyle there can only be one 2everely depre22ed guy in the gang  
TG: let the cool guy have a tragic past will you  
TA: ugh fine but iit better be 2iigniifigantly le22 tragiic than miine  
TG: yes mr. sad   
TG: yes sir  
TA: call me 2iir more often ii liike iit  
TG: keep your nasty kinks away from me   
TG: im not some whore you can run to when your sugar daddy isnt around  
TA: piity  
TA: ii wa2 ju2t 2tartiing two liike you  
TG: oh mr captor oh  
TA: hey   
TA: iim pulliing up   
TA: plea2e no fla2h photography ok  
TA: iim half bliind remember   
TG: shit everyone put your cameras away hide the streamers  
TA: eheheheh  
TA: iive mii22ed everyone   
TG: we have missed you too  
  
  


twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

 


	18. Who Do You Think You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been thinking a lot about where the story is going  
> just not writing like a dummy
> 
>  
> 
> if youre lost here is what has happened from the last update, last chapter, to now  
> sollux and eridan left and stayed in paris, they were supposed to come back in april but stayed until Jan 2018  
> last chapter was solluxs return (i wish he returned in fucking canon you fuck)  
> this chapter is 1 week after their return to america and things...have changed

9 JANUARY 2018; 22:08 PM EASTERN TIME

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

CG: HEY I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET BACK AT MY PLACE  
CG: I FOUND IT YESTERDAY BUT SORT OF FORGOT  
CG: OR ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS BUSY   
CG: BUSY CLEANING UP ALL THE JUNK EVERYONE LEFT BEHIND AFTER THEY TOOK THEIR DRUNK ASSES HOME!  
CG: SOME OF THE SHIT I HAVE FOUND, LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS THE VILEST PUTRID SORT OF TRASH   
CG: THE BUNCH WE REGRETTABLY CALL OUR FRIENDS ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING GROUP OF INCELS ON THE PLANET EARTH  
CG: I AM DISGUSTED  
TA: oh fuck that2 where that went  
TA: iive been lookiing for iit everywhere  
CG: WELL IT CURRENTLY RESIDES IN MY WASHING MACHINE AS IT SMELT LIKE HARD LIQUOR AND WEED   
CG: I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU TOMORROW  
TA: thank2 kk  
TA: youre the be2t  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT  
CG: FOR ONCE IN YOUR PITIFUL EXCUSE YOU CALL A HUMAN LIFE YOU ARE RIGHT  
CG: THERE'S ONE OTHER THING I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT  
CG: AND FOR A WHILE I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN'T BUT I'M THE NOSIEST PERSON ALIVE SO I HAVE TO DIG INTO THIS ONE  
CG: ESPECIALLY DEEP  
CG: CAUSE I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: I FOUND SOMETHING IN YOUR JACKET AND ALL I WANT YOU TO TELL ME IS THAT IT WASN'T YOURS AND THAT SOME NASTY BUM SLIPPED IT IN YOUR POCKET AT THE PARTY  
TA: what are you talkiing about  
CG: DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME   
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT STUPID, WELL, STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THIS SORT OF SHIT  
CG: RIGHT?  
CG: HELLO  
CG: FUCKING ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT  
TA: kk ii wa2 drunk ii dont remember much about that niight  
TA: we all were   
TA: you need two be more 2peciifiic ok  
TA: iif youre talkiing about the ciigarette2 then you can chiill iim not that bad  
CG: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR FILTHY CIGARETTES!!!!!!!!!  
CG: AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ABOUT THAT HABIT YOU DECIDED TO JUST FUCKING PICK UP  
CG: SMOKING REALLY, SOLLUX?  
CG: YOU'LL GET CANCER AND DIE  
TA: how iironiic  
CG: SHUT UP  
CG: NO SPEAKING ABOUT IRONY I HEAR IT ENOUGH FROM DAVE  
CG: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BAG OF COCAINE   
CG: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, A TINY BAG OF COCAINE  
CG: AND I NEED YOU TO TELL ME YOU'RE NOT SWITCHING TO HARD SHIT BECAUSE I TOTALLY GET IT MAN. LIFE IS CRAZY AND SOMETIMES SHIT HURTS BUT NEVER ENOUGH THAT YOU SHOULD RESORT TO A SUBSTANCE INSTEAD OF THE GROUP OF FRIENDS YOU HAVE WHO HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR RETURN, MIGHT I ADD, FOR SO LONG  
CG: THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MOMENT IN TIME I WOULD HAVE NOT FUCKING COME AND BEAT YOUR ASS IF YOU NEEDED A DISTRACTION SO BAD  
CG: YOU OUT OF EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THE BEST THAT HARD SHIT IS NOT ALLOWED  
CG: NO HARD DRUGS ARE EVER FUCKING ALLOWED  
CG: EVER  
CG: THAT'S THE RULE  
CG: DO YOU REMEMBER GAMZEE, DO YOU???????  
CG: PLEASE DON'T PUT ME THROUGH THAT AGAIN BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH NEXT ARE "HEY I'M SOLLUX CAPTOR AND I'M ADDICTED TO COCAINE AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE"  
CG: I WILL BE AT YOUR DOORSTEP FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY THE WORD HOPSCOTCH  
CG: SO, FUCKING *ANSWER ME* NOW  
CG: ARE YOU SNORTING COCAINE  
TA: ii really regret exii2tiing 2ometiime2  
TA: thii2 ii2 the wor2t niight of my liife  
TA: actually no iit2 not ii have every bad niight numbered and lii2ted  
TA: thii2 ii2 number four  
CG: I'M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW  
TA: kk plea2e dont  
CG: I'M PUTTING ON MY SHOES.   
CG: I'M GRABBING MY KEYS.  
CG: I HAVE LOCKED THE DOOR.  
CG: I'M NOW IN MY CAR.  
TA: kk ed ii2 a2leep riight now   
TA: youre goiing two get the cop2 called  
TA: iim not 2nortiing anythiing  
TA: the bag wa2nt miine  
CG: YOU HAVE EXACTLY 3 MINUTES TO BEG FOR MERCY.  
TA: three miinute2 really god how fuckiing awful  
TA: okay look  
TA: iit belong2 two ed  
TA: iit2 hii2 ok ii ju2t had iit iin my pocket  
CG: I'VE STARTED THE CAR.   
TA: kk plea2e waiit let me explaiin!  
CG: GIVE ME A REASON NOW I SHOULDN'T GO WATERBOARD ERIDAN   
TA: when we were iin parii2 hii2 father diied and ii diidnt know what two do iit wa2 a huge me22  
TA: ed diidnt cope and he would go out and get drunk and iid go fiind hiim  
TA: then the2e people would come over and 2ometiime2 we would all get really fucked up  
TA: iit got really 2cary kk  
CG: I'M ON MY FUCKING WAY.  
TA: je2u2 chrii2t dont  
TA: lii2ten ed ii2 gettiing better we are back home and look ii get iit  
TA: no more hard 2hiit  
TA: but you cant come over ok he had a long day at work and iif you come over 2creamiing he wiill never forgiive me  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME  
TA: ii would have iif ii could   
TA: ju2t not toniight   
TA: we can go get coffee and talk tomorrow when ed ii2 at work  
TA: iim free then  
CG: YOU GOT THIRTY MINUTES TOMORROW TO EXPLAIN.  
CG: MEET ME AT NOIR'S AT 12:30 SHARP.   
CG: IF YOU TRY AND HIDE FOR ME I WILL FIND YOU AND PUT YOU THROUGH THE WORST THERAPY SESSION YOU'LL EVER HAVE  
CG: I'M TALKING RAW, EMOTIONAL, HEART TO HEART BONDING.   
CG: I WILL BREAK YOU.  
CG: WIDE OPEN LIKE ROSE LALONDE SUCKS THE BLOOD OUT OF HER PATIENTS DURING HER SESSIONS, ONLY I WON'T BE WITTY AND JUST CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE TWO EGGS ON A SATURDAY MORNING.   
CG: HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS COOKED, CAPTOR.  
  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
  


TA: fuck

 


	19. Stir The Pot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so  
> i have always loved john as a character but once when i was roleplaying him back in the Good Old Ripe Years (2014) a very snarky dirk roleplayer in this large groupchat broke out of character just to tell me " ((no offense but youre the worst john)) " and everyone in the chat was absolutely appalled at the sudden outburst and me, little old me, sat at my keyboard in shock.  
> i instantly switched back to my sarcastic favorite and presumed the roleplay as sollux instead, though after that i left the group chat and never returned! nor did i ever roleplay john again!
> 
> a lot of my older fanfictions include him but he has never been a main character. in fact i hate seeing my old fanfictions do well because when i try to continue on with the story i reread them...and theyre awful. i will never forgive 2015-2016. 
> 
> i thought about deleting this chapter as a whole, but i like john, and i want him apart of this story because he is an importance to dave. i apologize if this john sucks. he is a snarky asshole. but fuck you dirk from 2014!!!! 
> 
> (also multiple chat logs in this chapter so i dont have to add multiple chapters wow i cant believe how advanced technology has gone) 
> 
> dave talks a lot about music if you cant tell (pay attention to lyrics and mood). pay attention to especially the song mentioned in this chat log.  
> 

14 JANUARY 2018; 09:15 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

 

EB: dave  
EB: dave!!!!  
EB: you wont believe this but i got some amazing news  
EB: ok, i guess you will never hear what i have to say. that's a shame because it's probably something you would love to know. you're just fast asleep during what are called morning hours for a reason. it seems like everyone i know sleeps until three in the afternoon! you are all wild animals!  
TG: john   
TG: why are you awake it is too early for this   
EB: it is six am and i am already kicking!  
EB: you are three hours ahead of me, you big dummy. you got to sleep in.  
TG: what are you doing awake at that ungodly hour  
EB: i have work, you know. that thing that adults do.   
EB: dave do you have a job????  
TG: you were going on about wanting to tell me amazing news   
TG: please tell me you bought me a shiny new car  
TG: oh god its not the right color how dare you   
TG: i will never forgive you dad now everyone at school is going to laugh at me  
EB: dave i didn't buy you a car.  
TG: i never get what i want   
EB: you are so spoiled, down right rotten!  
TG: what is the news john   
TG: youre giving me blue balls here cmon my legs are shaking i cant take this  
EB: what if i told you i booked a flight all the way across the united states just to see my dearest and chummiest pals in the whole wide world?  
TG: if this is a prank i will book a flight up to seattle just to strangle you  
EB: wow!!!!  
EB: but it's not a prank, dave. i've been saving money up since last year just for this very moment. i feel very proud. i have fostered this idea like a little seedling and now it's already going to college. i'm a mother dave!  
TG: oh my god   
TG: after three years of not seeing you i really hope you shaved that beard  
TG: you are by far the hairiest guy i know and i have to tell you ive met a lot of hairy guys in my lifetime  
TG: and i am the most ecstatic to see my the face of the bro i have been most longing to see but you cant outdo me in the man department   
EB: if you want me to shave i will.  
EB: thank you for admitting that you are jealous of my manliness. it has been a long time coming dave and i am very proud of you.  
EB: i will be in town in three days. i am tagging along with rose and kanaya for around a week or so since they have an actual house and a spare room. they seem to have all sorts of activities planned and honestly dave i am TERRIFIED!!!! i think rose's wife is a vampire.   
EB: what if she sucks all the blood out of my body in my sleep!  
TG: i have been afraid of that since the day they got married john  
TG: lets make a pact that if either of us wake up and find roses darling wife sucking the blood out of another living being we will sacrifice ourselves to protect the others  
TG: i will be edgar and you can be alan frog  
TG: we will devote our lives to hunting down the vermin that slay the innocent  
TG: this is our [theme song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrMLMV6E4CM)   
EB: i've never seen the lost boys  
TG: we will work on our costumes when you get here  
TG: i have it on vhs and a complete downstairs room  dedicated to film just for this very moment  
EB: what ever you say! anyways i gotta go and be a responsible adult human and stare at paper work for a long time and act like i know what i'm reading.  
EB: i will text you duing my break.  
TG: ok love you too   
TG: buh bye  
EB: goodbye edgar frog!!!!  
  
  
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  
  
  
CG: I AM GOING TO BE AT SOLLUX'S FOR A LITTLE WHILE TODAY.  
CG: LET'S JUST SAY HE ISN'T WELL.  
TG: well i mean the guy has always been mr skinny but at the party he looked like a walking talking version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse   
TG: did you see his hands  
TG: i thought going to europe was an enlightening experience like in the movies  
TG: he was supposed to come back and a thin scarf blowing in the wind and leather shoes and a laugh  
TG: the guy looked like he watched someone die  
CG: UNCANNY.  
CG: IF YOU THINK SOLLUX IS BAD, WELL YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIS PRINCE CHARMING. NOT THAT HIS PHYSICAL APPEARANCE REALLY HAS CHANGED BUT HIS HAIR IS NOW HELD WITH SELF MADE GREASE AND HE HAS EYE BAGS THAT COULD PUT MINE TO SHAME. GOD, HE ALWAYS HAS TO ONE UP ME.  
CG: THEY'RE DESTROYING EACH OTHER, DAVE.  
CG: UNINTENTIONALLY, FULL FORCE, BREATHING SUFFOCATING SLIMY TOXIC WASTE INTO EACH OTHER'S LUNGS LIKE A PAIR OF WRITHING SNAKES.  
CG: I HAVE BEEN AT CAPTOR'S APARTMENT NOW FOR MAYBE AN HOUR AND SOLLUX HAS YET TO PUT ONE CIGARETTE DOWN. AS SOON AS ONE IS GONE, BAM!!!!!  
CG: HE ALREADY HAS ANOTHER ONE. IT'S SICKENING. I AM SICKENED.   
TG: what are we going to do  
CG: OH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.  
CG: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TAKE OFF YOUR HATS AND COATS BECAUSE YOU'RE FEARLESS LEADER IS TALKING AND HE HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY.  
CG: I'M CALLING FEFERI.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone please draw john and dave as the frog brothers from the lost boys  
> http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/39100000/The-Lost-Boys-Edgar-and-Alan-Frog-the-lost-boys-movie-39179403-500-285.png


	20. Gas Station Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah i was absent but im back hey  
> enjoy
> 
> tumblr: abigthief (homestuck blog), dildosalad (everything bagel)

2 MARCH 2018; 10:01 AM EASTERN TIME

 

 

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

CC: GU-ESS W)(O  
CC: )(e)(e, I'm just messing wit)( you. It's not a very good prank.  
CC: Anyways, I got t)(e tea from t)(e store and you would bereef t)(e trouble I went t)(roug)( to find t)(e brand you wanted!  
TA: hey ff  
TA: ju2t a word of adviice iit2 the mo2t ba2iic brand of tea you could po22iibly buy  
TA: they 2ell iit at ga2 2tatiion2 natiion wide ju2t for u2 poor people two 2natch wiith our grubby hand2  
TA: iit2 probably diirt iin a bag now that ii thiink about iit  
CC: Someone did not wake up in a very good mood 38(   
TA: fuck 2orry  
CC: It's fine, I'll let it pass for free. Next time I won't so you betta watc)( it mister!!  
CC: And w)(y would I ever go inside a gas station?  
TA: you are makiing thii2 2o fuckiing hard  
TA: ii am re2traiiniing my2elf ju2t for you becau2e aa would never forgiive me and ii actually liike you  
CC: Solfish you're making me blus)(!  
CC: I'm on my way back so PL-EAS-E put your clot)(es on!  
CC: We are super close and all but I reely like some t)(ings private. I mean!! Last nig)(t was so embarrassing!  
TA: you mean when you 2aw me naked and dropped a bottle of expen2iive wiine on your expen2iive carpet and ii 2creamed   
TA: and then ii knocked over a va2e tryiing two put on pant2 and iit 2hattered   
CC: 38( yes  
TA: dont worry iim already dre22ed  
CC: Is our favorite guppy up and moving yet?  
TA: he actually made breakfa2t and iit wa2nt terriible  
CC: T)(IS IS SO -EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!  
CC: Glub! I'm on my way )(ome so keep doing w)(atever you're doing and I'll be t)(ere lickedy split!  
CC: BY------------------------E!  
  
  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  


TA: diid you get the miilk  
  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]  


 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

 

CG: OKAY, SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN TELLING ME ANYTHING BUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE EATING RICH PEOPLE FOOD FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS  
CG: AND DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME, YOU SICK SQUIRMY BASTARD, YOU SECRETLY LOVE ALL THE PRICEY SHIT BEING SHOVELED DOWN YOUR THROAT.  
CG: DID YOU HAVE A REALIZATION MID CHOKE ON A PANINI THAT COASTS MORE THAN MY FUCKING RENT THAT YOU KNOW WHAT? FOOD IS GOOD?????  
CG: I'VE SEEN YOU SOLLUX CAPTOR, OH MAN, I'VE SEEN YOU GOING TO TOWN ON SOME RICH BITCH ICE CREAM AND IT WAS THE MOST AWKWARD I'VE BEEN SINCE HAVING TO ATTEND CHURCH WITH KANKRI BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. YOU MOAN LIKE A CHEAP WHORE. YOU ARE A CHEAP WHORE.  
CG: THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT  
CG: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU GOT A JOB????   
CG: UM HELLO????  
CG: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS BECAUSE ONE, I'M BASICALLY GOD AND TWO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU A JOB FOR WEEKS.  
CG: AND NOW YOU'RE WORKING AT THE DINER? DO YOU WEAR AN APRON TOO? HOLY SHIT   
TA: hey kk   
TA: niice of you two check iin a2 alway2  
CG: IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING PLEASURE  
TA: but ye2 ii do wear and apron and no iit2 not the one youre thiinkiing of   
TA: iit2 hone2tly a 2hiit2how anyway2   
TA: liike the only people that 2how up two the place are drunk2 and people wiith hangovers 2o ba2iically iit2 ju2t me beiing puked on  
TA: iif only they were drunk enough two open theiir wallet2 holy 2hiit  
CG: YOU'RE A WAITER.  
TA: we have already e2tablii2hed that  
CG: FOR HOW FUCKING LONG?  
TA: a month  
CG: WHEN DO YOU WORK?  
TA: at niight  
CG: DO YOU EVER SLEEP?  
TA: only on my break2 iin the back of ed2 car  
CG: SINCE WHEN COULD YOU EVEN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT  
TA: 2iince ii 2tarted doiing drug2   
TA: iit2 iin the drug handbook under 2ectiion four that you can only driive a 2tiick under the iinfluence   
CG IT IS TAKING EVERYTHING IN ME RIGHT NOW TO NOT JUST FUCKING DRIVE THERE AND THROTTLE YOU SO HARD YOUR NECK CRUNCHES LIKE A CAN OF SODA.  
TA: bad joke 2orry  
TA: ed taught me iin the abandoned parkiing lot near my old apartment complex and my old landlady thought we were 2tartiing the proce22 of gentrifiicatiion and threw rock2 at u2   
TA: eheheheh  
CG: SO, YOU CAN ACTUALLY DRIVE NOW???? NOT JUST TURN THE WHEEL LIKE, "OH MY WHAT DOES THIS DO"???? CAUSE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES YOU HAVE ALMOST KILLED ME IS PRODIGIOUS.  
TA: ii wa2 born iin new york kk  
CG: STOP USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE YOU DON'T LIVE THERE   
TA: well not anymore 2iince you made me go to baby jaiil therapy    
CG: WHOA  
CG: HEY  
TA: ii am an a22 twoday 2orry  
CG: NO, IT'S FINE.   
CG: HOW IS THE FORT HOLDING UP?  
TA: iit2 been an alriight week 2o far   
TA: ff 2aw me completely nude and ii diidnt cry iin front of ro2e duriing therapy   
TA: ed ii2 actually really ok ii thiink now he ii2 ju2t embarra2ed about everythiing  
TA: iim the only who 2tiill really ha2 any problem2 but who are kiiddiing iit2 me we are talkiing about  
CG: WHY DID FEFERI SEE YOU NAKED?  
CG: NEVERMIND, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW.   
CG: I'M GLAD ERIDAN IS DOING BETTER OR WHATEVER. HE WON'T RESPOND TO MY TEXTS STILL BUT HE DID SEND ME AN ACCIDENTAL VOICE MEMO OF HIS WORKOUT ROUTINE SO AT LEAST I'M STILL A CONTACT IN HIS PHONE? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. THANKS FOR TELLING ME HOW MANY SETS OF SQUATS YOU DO, FUCKTARD.  
CG: IF HE ISN'T WASTING AWAY ON NARCOTICS OR CRAZY PSYCHOATIVES AND NOT BECOMING A RAGING ALCOHOLIC OR DYING, I'M HAPPY. FEFERI HAS BEEN FILLING ME IN ABOUT A LOT OF SHIT AND I'M GLAD HE ISN'T BECOMING...WELL, HIS BROTHER. ALTHOUGH, THE GUY NEVER WENT OFF THE RAILS LIKE THIS.  
CG: ERIDAN REALLY IS ALL ABOUT DRAMATICS.  
CG: AND SHUT UP CAPTOR, WE ALL HAVE SHIT. IT'S JUST DRUG SHIT THAT PUTS US IN BABY JAIL THERAPY. TALKING TO ROSE SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT IN YOUR FAVOR AND NOW YOU HAVE A JOB. AND YOU CAN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.   
CG: I MEAN, YOU STILL SMOKE AND YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR MEDICATION BUT YOU'RE DOING GOOD, MAN.   
CG: I'M UH  
CG: UM  
TA: 2ay iit  
TA: 2ay iit you fuckiing coward  
CG: I'M PROUD OF YOU.   
CG: OKAY THERE. BOOM. ON THE TABLE. PROUD.  
CG: ARE YOU SATISFIED?  
TA: yeah   
TA: iim not actually mad about you forciing me two 2tay out here becau2e iit2 a lot better than actually beiing 2hiipped off 2omewhere  
TA: you guy2 know me  
TA: 2o thank2  
CG: I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT  
TA: nevermiind ii take iit back  
TA: ii hate you and ii hate thii2 hou2e  
CG: TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
CG: I AM NEVER DELETING THIS LOG AND IT IS ALREADY PERMANENTLY SAVED IN MY MEMORY UNDER THE LABEL "ME PROVING SOLLUX WRONG".  
CG: SO DEAL WITH IT, SUCKER.   
TA: plea2e ju2t tell me you diidnt burn my ca22ette tape2 whiile iive been gone no one wiill an2wer me  
CG: WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THESE COMPUTER GADGETS. YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.   
CG: SOLLUX WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A HUGE NSYNC FAN? WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY CASSETTES? YOU HAVE A PHONE YOU FUCKING IDIOT, USE IT.  
TA: fiir2t of all   
TA: fuck you and you dont der2erve two know  
TA: and ii do u2e my phone for mu2iic but the tape2 are for when ii work on my _gadget2_  becau2e maybe ii ju2t liike them  
TA: why doe2 dave u2e record2 when he ha2 hii2 own 2potiify account why arent you yelliing at hiim  
CG: DAVE HAS RECORDS BECAUSE HE COLLECTS THEM, IDIOT.  
CG: YOU HAVE A WALKMAN THAT YOU HIDE IN YOUR BACKPACK AND PRETEND IT'S AN IPOD. DIFFERENT THINGS.  
TA: youre teariin up my heart kk  
CG: OH MY GOD NEVER FUCKING CONTACT ME AGAIN   
CG: HOW DARE YOU  
TA: were you iin my apartment   
CG: CORRECTION: I AM IN YOUR APARTMENT.  
TA: why are you iin my apartment  
CG: I'M CLEANING IT LIKE A HOUSEWIFE, I EVEN HAVE GLOVES.   
TA: kk do not touch my 2tuff  
CG: DID YOU HEAR THAT? THAT WAS THE SOUND OF A THOUSAND CANS GOING IN THE TRASH BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAS NEVER HEARD OF THROWING THINGS AWAY BEFORE. OH MY, WHAT'S THIS? A VACUUM?   
TA: oh my god why arent you lii2teniing two me  
TA: ii have a 2y2tem and youre ruiining iit ii can 2en2e iit

 

twinArmageddons [TA] is now idle!

 

CG: WHOA, COOL YOURSELF I'M JUST PICKING UP GARBAGE AND DUSTING. NO NEED FOR A MELTDOWN, I'LL LEAVE IN JUST A SECOND.  
CG: HELLO?????????????????????

   
  
twinArmageddons [TA] is online!  
  
  
TA: bad tiimiing  
TA: ff ju2t got home and iit mean2 ii have two put down thii2 book iive been pretendiing two read for the pa2t hour and 2ociialiize   
TA: promii2e me you wont touch my computer or any of the cord2 on the floor  
TA: ye2 they have a purpo2e and do NOT rearrange them or 2o help me god  
CG: BLAH BLAH BLAH   
CG: GO DRINK YOUR FANCY TEA AND EAT YOUR FANCY BREAD AND STOP SMOKING  
TA: for the la2t tiime  
TA: iit2 ga2 2tatiion tea  
  
  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

 


End file.
